He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I faked an abortion last night.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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