omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then my night got REAL pukey
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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