Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
