I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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