My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
