she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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