mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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