UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
