and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
