You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
