I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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