What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
