im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
