I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
