I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
