Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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