Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
