Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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