We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
