If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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