That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
