chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
