I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize