their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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