and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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