It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
