did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
