I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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