Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
