Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This baby is an asshole
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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