He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
