dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize