Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
