this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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