You can't motorboat a personality
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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