I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
