I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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