how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
