dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize