also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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