If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The Olympian is in my bed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
