Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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