So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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