I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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