Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize