Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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