when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
