i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
