Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yo dont text me then not text me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
