she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
