do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
