Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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