My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
