I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
