i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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