woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
