Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize