i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
