Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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