Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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