Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they need to just BURY HIM!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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