I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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