I hate your face
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
