"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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