"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
